Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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