sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
