Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
