let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
