DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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