Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
