I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize