just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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