I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
