We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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