she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The air was thick with penises
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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