I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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