mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
