hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
