I look better un-naked...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
