What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
someone threw a dead crab at me
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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