ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
