i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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