I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Found your dick twin last night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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