I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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