dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
accomplished twins. life is a go
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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