We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize