I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
BRING THE BAGELS
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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