Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just googled if crying burns calories
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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