My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I faked an abortion last night.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dignity is for republicans.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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