No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
