I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
did i walk over a car last night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
