this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize