i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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