so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
