You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
whose parrot is this?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
