what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Drunk is a universal language darling
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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