Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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