Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
sarcasm needs its own font
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize