i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
