Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
