You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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