I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize