i already hear my dad disowning me
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
