I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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