i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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