Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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