Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I stole a fireplace last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
