OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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