When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
