Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
