I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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