Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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