seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
