Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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