literally had 100 drinks last night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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