i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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