: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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