You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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