I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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