i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
