i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
