We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I could make wine with my vomit
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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