She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize