so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
