Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
