Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
