Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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