Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize