Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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