i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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