Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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