I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Your penis caused this!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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