i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
